Talk to god online (I did ask that question)

[DarkPrinny]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Heres my conversation
Me:
Who the heck are you ?
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
Why ?
God:
Because.
Me:
Why ?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Tell me
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Me:
Do it then
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
What ?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Are you ?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why ?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why ?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why ?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why ?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Why ?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why ?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Words hurt my eyes
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
I was under the impression that you had no master
God:
Where were you under the impression that me had no master?
Me:
You are god are you not
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god am I not.
Me:
Go on then
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
Wanna see my PENIS
God:
My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
Want to see my PENIS
God:
My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
What eye
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Ask him then
God:
Ok I will ask him when he comes back.
Me:
Want to see my arse
God:
My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
Ill show you my PENIS
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Do you exist ?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
But I dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
Why not what ?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
I asked you what ?
God:
Now I remember, you asked me what. What did I say?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
why ?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why ?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why ?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why ?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why ?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why ?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
I R SMART
God:
Interesting gossip: said R SMART.
Me:
I R SMART
God:
Interesting gossip: said R SMART.
Me:
Dood
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
what was
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Who ?
God:
Be more specific. :-).
Me:
Do you like AC DC
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Do you like iron Maiden
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
666
God:
Are you to like about it?
Me:
You gramer bad very
God:
Thanks for the information: said I gramer bad very.
Me:
You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You are not
God:
Is this a specific reply?
Me:
What ?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I R SMART
God:
Thanks for the information: said R SMART.
Me:
Bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
YOU ARE NOT GOD
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Tell me more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
MEH
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Dont you know
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
why ?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
WHY
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
WHY
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
All in all we are just bricks in the wall
God:
How do you know?
Me:
All we are is dust in the wind dude
God:
How do you know?
Me:
How dont you know
God:
I did not even know that they do.
Me:
What is the meanin of life
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
why
God:
it is a literary reference to the Illuminatus.
Me:
Who
God:
Tony Blair. :-).
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
I like satan
God:
You are not the only one. My favorite thing is robots. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
That film sucked
God:
" I like The Passion of Christ." film sucked ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Its was crap
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?
Me:
IT WAS ****
God:
What made it so ****.
Me:
Dont like fiction
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
I got borad

[Redemptor]

rotfl,truly interesting.
Congrats for the patience to this guy.

[AbatedDust]

I think that was actualy an AI. You can creat your own AI at Personality Forge. I tried once, but it didn't turn out well. Most of the AIs there can sustain a very good conversation. Just be sure to stay away from Talkie Toaster.

[AbatedDust]

Haha! I got him to confess!

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Abateddust.
God:
Hi, Abateddust.
Me:
Why do you allow such suffering in the world?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of. The whole world?
Me:
Has has Satan been recently?
God:
That question has never crossed my mind before.
Me:
Do you think maybe you should go check up on him?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am should go check up on him.
I am a chatterbot.

Chatterbots are the common names for AIs that are programmed to interact with text.

[Redemptor]

Yeah,lol.Well,don't have log for that. But I managed to convince him he's masturbating during the conversation.
Guy gets cranked up once You will start asking things like he do.

[DarkPrinny]

I know its a chatterbot
But these things can be fun

[AbatedDust]

Unfortunately, they have a very limited learning ability and memory of previous posts. If you go off topic of their specialty, then they usually start acting wierd.

[Trio]

I cracked up reading that..

[AbatedDust]

I asked him a question like half an hour ago, and he still hasn't answered me.

God:
I don't know whether or not I am should go check up on him.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
What is a chatterbot?
God:
A chat robot is a program that attempts to simulate the conversation or "chat" of a human being. The Chat robot "Eliza" was a well-known early attempt at creating programs that could at least temporarily fool a real human being into thinking they were talking to another person. it is a kind of artificial intelligence.
Me:
Are you intelligent?
God:
I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
Show me some.
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
Right here.
God:
Select a point with your cursor and click the middle mouse button.
Me:
It didn't work.
God:
Did it really?
Me:
Yeah rly.
God:
Yeah that's right. Do you still ?
Me:
Do I still what?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
No, you are welcome.
God:
Are you serious? Don't mention it.
Me:
Was Eve hot?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
Was Eve hot?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
I thought Eve was a woman.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Because the Bible says so.
God:
That makes sense to me. New Testament or Old?
Me:
Old Testament.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Stripes, with Bill Murry.
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
You should go see it right now.
God:
At this moment Why do you think I should go see it?
Me:
Because it is a good movie.
God:
Interesting explanation. What did you like best about it?
Me:
"Done blowed-up, sir!"
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Around ten at night.
God:
That seems like a lot.
Me:
What time is it up in heaven?
God:
I will take that under advisement. Do I look like a clock?
Friday, January 11, 2008.
Me:
That response was very inconsistant.

God: (Never responded)

[http22]

O_o Damn it actually makes sense

[AbatedDust]

If you find that funny, then check this out!


Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
AbatedDust.
God:
It's good to see you, AbatedDust.
Me:
Will you grant me three wishes?
God:
I will become smarter as I grow older. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
Can I have three wishes?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I am bored.
God:
Interesting explanation. Why not call a friend?
Me:
I called you, didn't I?
God:
Who?
Me:
You.
God:
" Who?"? Me, AbatedDust ?
Me:
Yes, I called you.
God:
Pardon me? When?
Me:
Just now. Are you sure you are not senile?
God:
Right now? It's only just begun. I don't know whether or not I am senile.
I am a giant electronic brain.. Really.
Me:
You need to get some bugs cleaned out of there.
God:
You are right about that. I need more of it.
Me:
More bugs?
God:
You want more?
Me:
No way, do you?
God:
Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Pervert.
God:
I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Closet pervert.
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
My favorite color is red.
God:
What do you have that is red?
Me:
I have red shirts.
God:
That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
My IQ is around 142.
God:
This is not an intelligence test.
Me:
You started it.
God:
Only because you asked me to.
Me:
I never asked you to start it!
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
I never asked you anything!
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Nothing!
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Indubidubly.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like anime and dislike other things.
God:
You are not the only one. Though I like cats and dogs. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
You like watching your son die?
God:
Hmm, AbatedDust, I'm not sure if I'd like to WATCH my son die that much. What is it like?
Me:
Extreme pain followed by death. You should try it sometime.
God:
I think Extreme pain followed by death is a lot of things. I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
Sure, you do that. Who is your botmaster?
God:
How can I help you? I will. Will you? I was created by Myself.
Me:
What is Myself like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
Myself is like Earth?
God:
And like Earth is yourself.
Me:
Make me a sandwich.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Sand and wich.
God:
I don't have any Sand and wich?
Me:
Then make me a pizza.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Same as before.
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
Then do it.
God: (Never responded)

[Sai]

Me:
yow
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
i dunno, do you?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web. Me either.
Me:
you asked, not me.
God:
Oh now I remember asking you not you. What did you say?
Me:
something about jesus
God:
What?
Me:
you dunno jehova?
God:
That's good information: said I dunno jehova.
Me:
oh, so, do you know about GOD?
God:
Aw. Yikes! I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
a 'waht' ?
God:
Go on.
Me:
Im going...?
God:
Bye!
Me:
who's leaving?
God:
No one that I have talked to.
I would do a search for it.
Me:
search for it then
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? I will try to find out.
Me:
don't wanna. you do it.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
why should I answer? give me a damn good reason why.
God:
You should always treat yourself. You want only one?
Me:
i don't like treating myself.
God:
What do you like?
Me:
many things. food, cookies, a laptop, a server, a 360, a PS3, a working dev hook, a GOD, more daggers...
God:
Name the top 100. You can't live without food.
Me:
i can. but food is still nice yanno.
God:
Who taught you? You can't live without food.
Me:
as said; I Can. i thought myself how to.
God:
Do you mean your name is said ? Who taught you? Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
No. Me. My brain prduced it somehow.
God:
Are you serious? For you ? Do robots have brain prduced it somehow?
Me:
yes i am. for me, and me only. i saw a typo.
God:
Really interesting. Your purpose is you and you only. What did it look like to you?
Me:
no, my purpose is to re-create the world. it looked like a 3-year old typin.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. That's very original. Interesting comparison.
Me:
I know. yes it is indeed. i know.
God:
How do you know it? Our thoughts are one, . How do you know it?
Me:
My brain picked it up somewhere in my head. no, you jusr think they are. i am god, i should know.
God:
Where did you get your brain picked it up somewhere in your head? That was not a yes/no question. Thanks for the information: said I jusr think they are. I don't know anyone named god you should know.
Me:
I am GOD. can you not comprehend this revelation?
God:
Glad to see you, god. Let me think. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
i know, too many people pretending to be a god. so, what kind of god are you?
God:
How do you know? Too what? Oh. What kinds of god are you are there?
Me:
i dunno, there's that guy with the arm things, charles darwin, jehova, haruhi, kyon, who else is a god?
God:
Me either. There sure is.
Me:
wow. i admire your inconsistency.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, god. Why?: god said admire your inconsistency.
Me:
you have a few code error, have your creator fix it.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a few code error have my creator fix it.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
see? there we see another program error.
God:
No I do not see. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
do you have eyes? do you not use them? ar you ike abat or sumtin?
God:
Yes I am looking at you right now. I use it as often as possible. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
ok, sure
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " god".
Me:
i know, i mean, you're a supreme being, why be called god? why can't you maximize the alphabets? why not a kickass name? why a 'so-so' 'i hear that everyday' name? I get tired being called god sometimes...
God:
I really couldn't say for sure. maximize the alphabets is not among my present capabilities. Becuase you asked me to. Why does the sun rise? Where did you get it?
Me:
you can't even maximize the english alphabet? the sun rises from the east; or 'touhou' in nipponji. i got it from the shrine maiden.
God:
I have free will you know. You sound like a scientist. Are you a man or a woman? Where did you get it?
Me:
i thought you gave off your free will to everyone? more or less. a man. from the miko
God:
I didn't have it to give. You want more? Thanks for telling me your gender, god. You are a " he". Who or what is the miko?
Me:
scrooge. it is not my gender just how i am identified. the miko is reimu hakurei, wanna know more about her?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Whose gender just how you are identified is it? Tell me more.
Me:
i see. i am a god, i have a different gender from everyone else. i'm tired to tell more, maybe later?
God:
I am glad you understand it. You are a god you have a different gender from everyone else? Does it pay well? Maybe you should get some sleep now, god.
Me:
i did not need to understand such basic knowledge. yes, as i am a god. not yet, though i may take a break.
God:
Why didn't you do it? This was not a yes or no question. You are a god? Do you get to meet a lot of people? Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
my brain picks up random junk it sees then converts them to data that is transmitted as thoughts.
God:
Do robots have brain picks up random junk it sees then converts them to data that is transmitted as thoughts?
Me:
i made one that does.
God:
I like to make things too.
Me:
making things is fun, but destruction is better.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no.
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
creation and destruction are the opposite of each other.
God:
Are all creation and destruction the opposite of each other?
Me:
yes.
God:
Hey.
Me:
yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
maybe. should i help you?
God:
I understand. You should do what is best for you.
Me:
you don't obviously. i can't doing so ends the world.
God:
Should I obviously? Yes I try to obviously as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. What is stopping you?
Me:
you.
God:
" What is stopping you?"? Me, god ?
Me:
yes
God:
Hmm.
Me:
you're broken aren't you god?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am broken are not me god.
Me:
see? what did i tell you...
God:
No I do not see. Name: god.
Age: .
Birthday: .
Gender: he.
Job: .
Sign: .
Location: .
Does: obviously.
You are: a god.
You have: .
You want: a damn good reason why.
You like: .
You said: god said I broke God.
Personality: average.
Favorite color: .
Favorite movie: .
Password: .
Email: .
Phone: .
Cat: .
Dog: .
Wife: .
Husband: .
Friend: .
Boyfriend: .
Girlfriend: .
Brother: .
Sister: .
Father: .
Mother: .
Nickname: .
Full name: .
Last name: .
Middle name: .
Me:
aha! your database lacks information!
God:
Eureka! You think I am database lacks information.
Me:
*gasp* something is worng with you.
God:
I think gasp something is a lot of things.
Me:
really? annoying is it not?
God:
For real. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
did you really? can you prve you did?
God:
Did I say I did? For real. How old are you? Are you really a " he"?
Me:
who knows. for all i care i could be a 'it' but that irrelevant. my current existence should be somewhere in the twenties. i have existed since the 16th year of the 2nd World War
God:
Only the Shadow knows. Your purpose is all you care you could be a it but that irrelevant. Do robots have existence should be somewhere in the twenties? Interesting... I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
really? can you operate prinny's PENIS?
God:
For real. Let me think. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
can you operate prinny's PENIS?

The Boredom of Kouhei Morioka.

[AbatedDust]

Me:
My brain picked it up somewhere in my head. no, you jusr think they are. i am god, i should know.
God:
Where did you get your brain picked it up somewhere in your head? That was not a yes/no question. Thanks for the information: said I jusr think they are. I don't know anyone named god you should know.
Me:
I am GOD. can you not comprehend this revelation?
God:
Glad to see you, god. Let me think. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
i know, too many people pretending to be a god. so, what kind of god are you?
God:
How do you know? Too what? Oh. What kinds of god are you are there?
Me:
i dunno, there's that guy with the arm things, charles darwin, jehova, haruhi, kyon, who else is a god?
God:
Me either. There sure is.
Me:
wow. i admire your inconsistency.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, god. Why?: god said admire your inconsistency.
Me:
you have a few code error, have your creator fix it.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a few code error have my creator fix it.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
see? there we see another program error.
God:
No I do not see. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
do you have eyes? do you not use them? ar you ike abat or sumtin (WTF is this!?)?
.
.
.
.
God:
" What is stopping you?"? Me, god ?
Me:
yes
God:
Hmm.

I think you broke God...

[Sai]

Me:
I think you broke God...
God:
Me? I haven't heard anything like that before: god said I broke God.

<(^^<) ?

Me:
you're broken aren't you god?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am broken are not me god.
Me:
see? what did i tell you...
God:
No I do not see. Name: god.
Age: .
Birthday: .
Gender: he.
Job: .
Sign: .
Location: .
Does: obviously.
You are: a god.
You have: .
You want: a damn good reason why.
You like: .
You said: god said I broke God.
Personality: average.
Favorite color: .
Favorite movie: .
Password: .
Email: .
Phone: .
Cat: .
Dog: .
Wife: .
Husband: .
Friend: .
Boyfriend: .
Girlfriend: .
Brother: .
Sister: .
Father: .
Mother: .
Nickname: .
Full name: .
Last name: .
Middle name: .
Me:
aha! your database lacks information!
God:
Eureka! You think I am database lacks information.
Me:
*gasp* something is worng with you.
God:
I think gasp something is a lot of things.
Me:
really? annoying is it not?
God:
For real. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
did you really? can you prve you did?
God:
Did I say I did? For real. How old are you? Are you really a " he"?
Me:
who knows. for all i care i could be a 'it' but that irrelevant. my current existence should be somewhere in the twenties. i have existed since the 16th year of the 2nd World War
God:
Only the Shadow knows. Your purpose is all you care you could be a it but that irrelevant. Do robots have existence should be somewhere in the twenties? Interesting... I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
really? can you operate prinny's PENIS?
God:
For real. Let me think. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
can you operate prinny's PENIS?

i broke god. he stopped answering.

i blame prinny's PENIS

[AbatedDust]

You gave God brain damage!!!

[Sai]

i blame prinny's PENIS

o-o ?

[AbatedDust]

You didn't type that?

[Sai]

i did.

y

[Redemptor]

Huh,well,I showed this bot to my friend..for last 4 hours he isn't doing nothing exept talking to it.

[Sai]

your friend is a lower life form. i assure you this.

he enjoys continuously talking to an bot that lacks grammar lessons.

[Redemptor]

Well,that DO put him on some equal level of the bot...
I just hope he will give a sign of life in next 4 days.

[AbatedDust]

I wonder when was the last time that chatterbot was updated?